I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you just how damn smart I am. I mean, if you ignore most of the blog articles I have ever written, and omit my predictions of John McCain being dead in the water for the 2008 presidential nomination, I would like to point back to my December 2006 article, American Idol Mystique. That is where, months before a majority of the country had ever heard the name Barack Obama and well before this witless shoe shine and a smile declared for the presidency, I, The Gray Dog, spelled out exactly how and why Obama would ascend not only to the Democrat nomination but to the presidency itself. I even accurately foretold of the influence and role the Oprah would play.

Fast forward to today. What brilliance, what prescience, what clairvoyance!

But, now my position as Oracle of the dogoshphere is being challenged. With memories of Jeremiah Wright still lingering, Obama flip-flopping as he stretches his scrawny pencil neck toward the center, Michelle snarling and snapping at everyone, a trait quadrupeds such as myself find very attractive and now, the Reverend Jesse Jackson accusing Obama of talking down to black people and threatening to cut his … well you’ve probably watched the tape by now, conventional wisdom tells us this could be a close race and McCain might pull this out in a squeaker.

Now, personally, I like to buck conventional wisdom, (which may play a small part with why I live in a dog house,) and would have been willing to bet on Obama’s ability to overcome these minor distractions. But when you add to all of this, the threat that Hillary’s supporters may break ranks and flock to McCain coupled with the fact that the Oprah has cooled her overt support of Obama due to the backlash of angry female fans who felt betrayed by the daytime Queen of Estrogen, and Obama’s presumed November miracle seems less certain.

But, I believe in the Oprah. Or should I say, I believe in the power of the Oprah. She hasn’t backed a loser since Dr. Phil, and she’s not gong to make that mistake again. She also has powerful friends. In fact it is a very powerful and close friend of Oprah, one who may have provided Bill Clinton with the only thread of a legacy that has nothing to do with a blue dress, who could be called upon to resuscitate Obama’s faltering campaign.

What will it take to make large West Virginian women in sensible shoes switch allegiance from Hillary to Obama? Who can influence the Stepford Wives of Oprahland to become adoring Obama-nuts? Perhaps a bad choice of terms if the secret service doesn’t apprehend Jesse pretty soon. None other than the Oprah’s close friend, author Toni Morrison.

For those who are unaware, Ms. Morrison is very powerful. She won a Pulitzer Prize. But her real powers, just like the powers possessed by the Oprah, are derived from being both black and female. So, just as Toni salvaged Bill Clinton’s image by declaring him to be America’s First Black President, I predict that this very influential FOO (Friend of Oprah) will appear on the Oprah’s show before the end of this month to declare Obama, when elected, shall become America’s First Woman President!

Think of the exquisite ironies. Will Michelle be shocked or surprised. I don’t think so, as she has all of the testosterone in the Obama family to begin with. On the other hand, the double slap in the face to Hillary has to leave her wondering why Toni Morrison has it in for her, again. (Clue: Toni’s just like the rest of us; she hates you too.) Finally, on this last point I’m torn. While it might have been entertaining to watch, Ms. Morrison’s declaration is certainly going to thwart any of Reverend Jackson’s recent plans. Although, I've heard rumors this has already been handled.

Is this prescience or just another dog dream?

Contributed by The Gray Dog on July 10, 2008 at 11:02 AM in Current Affairs, Decision '08, Dem Dumbness, John McCain, Politics, The Gray Dog | Permalink

Comments

Posted by: Bill Faith

Welcome back Mike! You were much missed.

Posted by: Bill Faith | Jul 10, 2008 1:26:27 PM